Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
