I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Randomize
