So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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