In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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