You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
