my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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