His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
