I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
