I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
is it fun? or sober?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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