did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
