I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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