She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
