I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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