Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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