Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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