we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
