I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
