booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Randomize
