I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
