try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
