The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
