So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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