is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
