I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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