Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just wanna soil my oats bro
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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