My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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