There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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