He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays