You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Hippo gnu deer
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
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I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.