Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
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My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...