My first STD was from a foam party
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's blow job season.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
