Who wears a wallet chain?!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.