I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
