Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
