Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
