guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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