Christians are straight up FREAKS
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
