Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
