I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
