He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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