u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
