just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize