bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
