They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
