Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
