I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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