I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
