Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
