Where is the hickey?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
