how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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