you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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