i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
