My Higher Power is John Stamos
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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