You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
