oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
How does one acquire holy water?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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