I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
