Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
