Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
