He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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