No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
