I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
