i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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