Plan B is the new Plan A
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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