Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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