my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
