There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just found a bag of teeth...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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